What do you do with distance?

Based on current happenings….

I have this…friend.

(To save me the stress of beating around the bush, this friend is a male. To save you the stress of looking for hints, there is no sexual drama involved here.)

Now that that’s established, let us move on.

I have known this person for about 7 going on 8 months. We worked together for that duration and we got close... We would talk (read chat) and joke well into the night, see the next day and joke and play till we closed.

Imagine how I felt when I started sensing attitudinal shifts and changes. There were some work issues that probably caused this but I was of the opinion that my not wanting to discuss SOME work things should really not affect our relationship.
(It’s the general school of thought that that’s wrong but put a let's bookmark in that)

The little shifts gradually grew to become a dark spot we both didn’t address. He attempted to discuss it (I just realized that in retrospect) but he said some things that were, in my opinion constructed to scare me and so I kept a resting bitch face during the entire discussion. I kept mute. At the point where I decided to talk, he closed up.

I was frustrated and frankly, uber pissed.

We spoke (read chatted) again briefly and I thought all was well. But it wasn’t.

Now we have a big chasm (and I’m in a don’t know-slash-not-sure-how-slash-don’t-know-if-I-want-to-be-the-one-to-fix-it kinda state.)

But back to the point, what do I do with this distance? I hate it. 

UPDATE:  A week later. I'm over it. He's trying to be friends again. -_-

UPDATE of UPDATE: I needed his help. -_-

The End.

P.S: This post went a different way than the actual plan.

The question: What do you do when distance develops with someone you were once close to?

PERSONAL: One or More..?

A couple of days back, I asked a question.

The answers I got were….not encouraging, to say the least.

After finding out someone I had liked for a total of two years (off and on but yes, you read that right, two years) said he had liked me too.

It took a few hours but I started venturing down the rabbit hole...

What if he was just playing to the one-man gallery (me)?

And more importantly, had he liked other people in that period?

(I had seen his twitter page once or twice)

Let’s follow the path of ‘IF I wanted something to happen…’

Now, after this, I thought “OK, what now?”

A girl doesn’t say “Ok. So you like me and I like you, let’s see where it goes” (as I write this my mind throws exceptions because that’s not the way things normally go or the way they SHOULD go. There should be a goal in mind.)

You see, if you’ve liked someone for an obscenely long period of time, like, say two years, you’d expect that after you both have come out about that stuff, you go headfirst into the ‘whirlwind romance’. Depending on your inclinations that could mean a variety of things.

However, in the pot of beans I was in, we had a major challenge.

Who the flip is this person I like?

We had not spent long periods of time together to know the important things (stalking to get those details don’t count).

I know you’d say that that’s not actual ‘liking’ but what is it then? Infatuation? Lust? The answer would be No and No because for those emotions to be felt, there’d also have to be periods of time spent with each other. No?

Oh, what a fantastic pot of beans life. -_-

Now, my three questions, after the initial emo talk and baring of feelings;

What happens next?

Who makes the first move?

What is that move that should be made?

Truth of it all

Cutting onions has always been a great fanfare for me. The people (female AND male) that can cut onions in less than five minutes over a boiling pot of stew are just...amazing.

Anytime I have a light-bulb-finger-snapping-aha-moment kind of idea I belabor with getting the chopping board, searching for the perfect knife to do the cutting and then proceeding to peel the outer onion layer taking it to the bin first before cutting the what’s left of the bulb into relatively equal pieces (not always but sometimes). That’s essentially what’s happening with this blog.

I had a bright idea. Well, a couple actually but now it’s all a jumbled mess in my mind.

Sometimes, I think I can write. I think I can hold a person’s attention. But it has got to be personal stuff. Things I’m passionate about. Things about me. Things I’m very interested in. They dwindle a little bit more every two weeks (maybe). 

For the complete pieces I have written and shown to some people, they have gone through the emotions I want them to go through or experience. But I don’t finish some posts because I try to bejewel it. Make it more dramatic (works out sometimes). Make it longer (never worked). Make it more fluent (works out sometimes). Just make it MORE. I lose the essence of what I’m trying to write with all the jamboree in trying to make it MORE.

I’ve decided to stop. (For tonight at least)

I’m going to write straight from my heart (like this post). Write what seems right.

I’m going to be random (seeing as that’s one of my quirks).

I’m going to be personal.

And I’m going to be me.

Learning on the job has never been a crime. Evolving and changing as time goes on isn’t a sin.

So, I’m going to learn and evolve. J

The Little Things...

I think if we look closely enough there's so much beauty, so many breathtaking moments in the world around us.

Stop for a minute and look around you.
Look at the person sitting next to you...
Look at that lone bird cruising the thermos...
Look at the clouds gathering before the rain pours...
Look at that blade of grass swaying in the gentle breeze... 
Watch the sun set...
Enjoy the little things.
The little moments that steal your breath.
The little actions that make you giddy.
The little bits of time that time itself seems to stop...

...and you're transported out of that dreadful traffic.